Feeling helpless – the rant post

Today I feel like a deflated balloon; totally helpless and simply sad… One moment all I want to do is cry, the other just yell and scream at someone, to anyone… in the hope that someone will listen.

What happened? It is somewhat complicated and to make matters worse it is subject to being confidential… but let us say someone, someone who doesn’t know me, who doesn’t know us or any of our family, someone in an office somewhere hidden just made a decision which affects us all based on fact we are not allowed to know…. No one told us that this process was even going on and then just considered that informing us about their final verdict was all that was required… this is how it is going to be from now on…out the blue…bang your life is in tatters.

I feel so blue… I want to fix it but don’t know how… the people marketed as being those who are suppose to help me and support me aren’t there for me and I am just lost…

On the plus side I have Mark and my family to talk about it but … this is not going to change the outcome… it helps a bit but we are all in the same boat, so we need some outsider to reach to us…

I know that life is not fair… it never is, but hey… there is something called common sense, good karma or whatever else you want to call it… where is our part of it?

It pisses me off that good deeds go unnoticed and all you get in return is a hit on the head… and the worst part is that is comes in the least expected moment.

I am a lawyer, I like to argue, I like to fight, I like to read so I can have a lot of ammunition to fight with,  but most of all I like to know it all so I can get it right… but how do you fight the system which is clearly broken? Where do you go for help when no one wants to listen? Should I just lock myself in a box and wait it out? Even if this would be an option it wouldn’t be a good solution… I want to do something in order to change someone’s mind but how, if there is no one to talk to, if there is no one to listen???

I know that this post doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I decided to write to you instead of writing an angry email to someone who doesn’t give a s**** anyway. I also know that you cannot help me because you most likely don’t have a clue what I am talking about but … it makes me feel better… so please forgive me this moment of weakness… I just want to be selfish for a while… maybe a self pity will help me out to come to terms with what is happening at this moment…

A.

0 thoughts on “Feeling helpless – the rant post

  1. I think your despair stems from vision. You’ve seen what it’s really all about; not good, for you.

    I sum it up as “We elect our absolute dictators but become democratically meaningless by close of polls on election day” … there; am I in the ball park?

  2. Whatever it is, I am sure it will pass. It is normal for us to have a tough time sometimes, but what matters most is how we get through it. Staying united with your family is one good sign and I hope you will be okay soon. Hugs! gig

    1. so true Easy… there always have to be someone to blame… and who cares if he/she/they are guilty or no… some people are just to fast with pointing fingers and blaming others without looking into a mirror…

  3. Sometimes, speaking with strangers help you in strange ways…..because they don’t know you..they don’t judge you….you can just leave it there and move on…..
    Tomorrow will be a better day for sure… The week and tough moments make us strong in unimaginable ways. You hold on….you will definitely find strength to deal with your problems….. Nothing is permanent :).
    Hugs
    Sonal

  4. Really sorry to hear you’re having a tough time, it’s good to rant especially to people who you don’t know who don’t have a clue about the situation and therefore can’t judge but can listen.

  5. You are right, I don’t know what you are talking about. But I do know, it does help to rant about these things and better if the person you are ranting to doesn’t try and help. Unless of course they can help and right the wrong completely. Sadly those I rant to (or did, now I am careful to whom I rant) cannot help but do believe they can!! We are are at the moment having wrangles with the Home Office and their new immigration laws that are not fair! I have been ranting into the ether for the last few weeks without any joy. Good Luck

  6. I’m so sorry you’re going through a tough time.
    Although I can’t really help, please accept a big hug and we’re sending you positive helping vibes and most of all hoping that you find a solution to the problem you’re facing xxx

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