10 Sentences You’ll Never Say, Until You Have Young Children

10 Sentences You’ll Never Say, Until You Have Young ChildrenWhen you have kids all adult conversation will go out the window and those days when you discussed nights out and the newest fashion trends with your friends will be long forgotten.

You may think you have said some strange things in your life, maybe on one of those nights out, but nothing will be as strange as what will come out of your mouth after living with a tiny human being. Kids can be pretty funny of course, but often the more comical sentences will come out of your mouth.

One parent, Nathan Ripperger, has created prints of sentences he has said to his kids, when he found that his responses were as funny if not more hilarious, than the comical things his kids were coming out with. He noted his sentences were like nothing he had said before and if taken alone and out of context they were the most bizarre things he had ever said.

You will find yourself saying phrases over and over again once you have kids, such as do not touch, eat up, because I said so, and come here now! But, here are 10 sentences you will almost definitely never say until you have young children.

1. My spidey sense tells me you are swinging on the curtains again Spider-Man, if you want to complete that outfit with those sandals from LamaLoLi you can get down and catch the bad guys another way!

2. Mmm thanks for making dinner, this mud and insect pie is delicious! Oooh there are worms in there as well, this is probably the best meal I have EVER eaten!

3. Oh no not that face again – have you done a poo? Come here so I can sniff your nappy!

4. Stop licking the cat! I know she licks herself but that’s how they have a wash, she doesn’t need your help!

5. Oh no don’t sit down you will sit on Bob. Yes actually, he is there now he’s invisible. *Because obviously your kids invisible friends become your friends!

6. Carrots go in your mouth, not your ear! Well if you don’t eat them then you will never be able to see in the dark. I know it is true because I always eat my carrots and I can see perfectly in the dark.

7. Have you been eating the crayons again? Well how did you end up with purple all round your mouth then? No, they are not for drawing on the walls either, we have…or should I say had nice wallpaper, thank you.

8. Please put your clothes on. No, you can’t go out naked in public. I can guarantee no one will be walking round the shops like that, we wear clothes when we go out don’t we?

9. Ok, it is time to put the lion back in his cage or you will be late for school.

10. Why is there lego in the chocolate spread? No, it is a toy! You can’t eat it for breakfast.

So there you go, 10 funny yet true things said that would only be said if you had a child in your life. I also bet that you could, if you stopped and thought about it for a moment, add another dozen things that you have noticed yourself saying and thought “Well I never thought that I would say that” 😉

Now I wonder what it was you said, care to share?

And I really can’t think of another human interaction that would make you say strange and bizarre things, can you?

16 thoughts on “10 Sentences You’ll Never Say, Until You Have Young Children

  1. This is so true about not saying these statements til you had kids. Here is my ” No you can’t pee on the trees til we are out at camp.” I had said that many times to my oldest son. Thanks for sharing.

  2. These all made me giggle. It’s truly remarkable some of the things we find ourselves saying and doing as parents. Even more odd is how utterly insane it probably sounds to some people who are single and aren’t planning to have children!

  3. Oh man, I just loved reading this! You are definitely going to have to do a part 2 to this!! I can so relate haha!

  4. I have been known to say a few of these and another list too. My favorite is telling my kids that I have eyes in the back of my head or know when they have done something dumb. I have two teenagers and a 4 years old.

  5. Oh, I’ve said so many things through the years… not sure which is funniest. “Ellie, ewwwww. Don’t lick that.” is probably the weirdest thing I ever had to say ~ as she lunged for the garbage can in the women’s restroom stall at the mall. Ohhhh. ICK ICK ICK

  6. Parenting children has lead to me to do, say, and hear all sorts of weirdness that I never thought I’d ever encounter. lol I recently caught my niece shoving the majority of a slice of bread up one of her nostrils. UGH. What is that about? We had a little chat about how bread is for eating…not for noses.

  7. Probably as bad as when you have a little puppy. I find myself forever saying similar things like “Pea, please stop licking the inside of your Dad’s slipper, you don’t know where it’s been” to “What are you eating this time… *add appropriate weird item here* give it to Mum”… followed by the inevitable chase to take it out of their mouth before they swallow it.

I love all comments :-)