10 Sentences You’ll Never Say, Until You Have Young Children

10 Sentences You’ll Never Say, Until You Have Young ChildrenWhen you have kids all adult conversation will go out the window and those days when you discussed nights out and the newest fashion trends with your friends will be long forgotten.

You may think you have said some strange things in your life, maybe on one of those nights out, but nothing will be as strange as what will come out of your mouth after living with a tiny human being. Kids can be pretty funny of course, but often the more comical sentences will come out of your mouth.

One parent, Nathan Ripperger, has created prints of sentences he has said to his kids, when he found that his responses were as funny if not more hilarious, than the comical things his kids were coming out with. He noted his sentences were like nothing he had said before and if taken alone and out of context they were the most bizarre things he had ever said.

You will find yourself saying phrases over and over again once you have kids, such as do not touch, eat up, because I said so, and come here now! But, here are 10 sentences you will almost definitely never say until you have young children.

1. My spidey sense tells me you are swinging on the curtains again Spider-Man, if you want to complete that outfit with those sandals from LamaLoLi you can get down and catch the bad guys another way!

2. Mmm thanks for making dinner, this mud and insect pie is delicious! Oooh there are worms in there as well, this is probably the best meal I have EVER eaten!

3. Oh no not that face again – have you done a poo? Come here so I can sniff your nappy!

4. Stop licking the cat! I know she licks herself but that’s how they have a wash, she doesn’t need your help!

5. Oh no don’t sit down you will sit on Bob. Yes actually, he is there now he’s invisible. *Because obviously your kids invisible friends become your friends!

6. Carrots go in your mouth, not your ear! Well if you don’t eat them then you will never be able to see in the dark. I know it is true because I always eat my carrots and I can see perfectly in the dark.

7. Have you been eating the crayons again? Well how did you end up with purple all round your mouth then? No, they are not for drawing on the walls either, we have…or should I say had nice wallpaper, thank you.

8. Please put your clothes on. No, you can’t go out naked in public. I can guarantee no one will be walking round the shops like that, we wear clothes when we go out don’t we?

9. Ok, it is time to put the lion back in his cage or you will be late for school.

10. Why is there lego in the chocolate spread? No, it is a toy! You can’t eat it for breakfast.

So there you go, 10 funny yet true things said that would only be said if you had a child in your life. I also bet that you could, if you stopped and thought about it for a moment, add another dozen things that you have noticed yourself saying and thought “Well I never thought that I would say that” 😉

Now I wonder what it was you said, care to share?

And I really can’t think of another human interaction that would make you say strange and bizarre things, can you?

* This is a collaborative post.

VoucherBin.co.uk: The Joys of Parenting and Money Saving

The Joys of Parenting and Money Saving with VoucherBin.coHaving a baby is, undoubtedly, the greatest joy of one’s life. But many mothers will agree that offering your baby the best care can more than often take you beyond your means. Baby care products are quite expensive, so are nappies, clothes and toys. But there’s hope! VoucherBin.co.uk lends a helping hand to parents with promo codes and vouchers, so that you can offer only the best to you baby and still save money.

Get through baby’s first year with VoucherBin
Ok. Don’t panic. You have a baby. Obviously, that means extra expenses. But are these the things you should really worry about? Shouldn’t you just enjoy your baby’s first year, and all the years to come, without worrying that baby products will take you to your last penny? VoucherBin will help you get through your baby’s first 12 months in a carefree manner and focus on what really matters.

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VoucherBin.co.uk - The Joys of Parenting and Money SavingBaby’s first birthday
Your baby’s first birthday is surely the most important out of all the ones to come. So it must be special, right? But you don’t have to spend a fortune to get it right, you can make it memorable with less money. Besides the balloons, the food and the cake, you should make your baby’s birthday party a treat for all the kinder-guests. If you have older children coming over, why not make it a themed party and give the kids, and the parents, something creative to do, which they can take home as a memory afterwards? The Arts & Crafts Sale, with the Baker Ross promo code brings free delivery and a discount up to 50% on art and crafts products. Choose a theme and start shopping! Your baby’s first birthday will surely be one to remember.

Having a baby might be difficult at times. But don’t let money problems ruin the joy of raising your child. Just shop smart and be happy!

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Toddler Life – Self Feeding with Oxo Tot

Toddler Life – Self Feeding with Oxo TotThere comes a time in the life of every toddler when being spoon fed just isn’t good enough. The food looks funky, the colours are appealing and they simple want to have a go themselves… It is a great stage, yet at the same time a very messy period in their development!

Toddler Life – Self Feeding with Oxo Tot Feeding SetOxo Tot sent us a lovely toddler feeding set to aid in minimising messiness during this time.

The set includes:

  • Fork
  • Spoon
  • Plate
  • Large bowl

It is design for kids from 12 months old. Well, Leo isn’t 12 months yet… he will be soon… very soon… but he is more than ready and eager to attempt independent eating.

The Oxo Tot feeding set is extremely well made plus it is pleasing to the eye. Its design is very clever and extremely helpful.

Toddler Life – Self Feeding with Oxo Tot - PlateLet’s take the plate for example: its base is weighted and non-slip so it is not so easy for it to slide plus it features a raised curved ring, which really helps with keeping the food inside the plate instead of on your floor. The ring can be removed if / when needed which means that plate will grow with your toddler.

Toddler Life – Self Feeding with Oxo Tot - Large BowlThe bowl was the perfect size – 360ml. It is ideal for most meals, which means you really have no need for an entire selection of different dishes. The bowl features a non-slip weighted base and high walls to make scooping food an easier task.

Toddler Life – Self Feeding with Oxo Tot - Spoon & Fork Toddler Life – Self Feeding with Oxo Tot - Spoon And ForkBoth spoon and fork feature generous handles with soft, non-slip grips which are very easy to handle by your little ones hands 😉

I have to admit, we like the set; we like it a lot. It makes feeding time a more enjoyable experience. Plus it is BPA, phthalate and PVC free and it is dishwasher safe (yes, I am just being selfish now but I really dislike doing the dishes). The set is priced at £18 which makes it a great value for money.

Toddler Life - Self Feeding with Oxo Tot Feeding SetWe are giving a big thumbs up to the Oxo Tot set – great looks; great quality and helpful design, we couldn’t ask for more.

Toddler Life – Making Bath Time Fun

Toddler Life. Making Bath Time FunBath time should be an essential part of any toddler’s bedtime routine. Some kids love it, some will tolerate it and some… well they totally hate it. It is important to help them overcome any bath time fears they might have. Bath time should be fun and not a chore. It is a great opportunity to bond with our little ones and it also presents a lot of opportunities for discovering new things.

Leo loves water, he enjoys bath time as much as swimming in the local pool… or should I say pretending to swim in a real pool 🙂

Toddler Life – Making Bath Time FunPlaying games with rubber creatures, trying to be a hairdresser, singing and telling stories are just a few activities which can help with making bath time a pleasant and desired experience. Kids will be kids, they experience the world in a different way to us, adults. You might think that you need some magic toys to keep him or her occupied when in fact in most cases a few object laying around the house will do the trick (as long as they are changed on a regular basis so your toddler doesn’t have time to get bored of them and of course are safe for the baby to play with in the first place).

That is bath time… so what’s happening after bath time?

Well this is up to you… you can dry and dress up your toddler in the bathroom or like us extend the bath time routine to after bath time.

Toddler Life – Making Bath Time Fun with CuddleSafariToddler Life - Making Bath Time Fun with CuddleSafariToddler Life – Making Bath Time Fun with CuddleSafari from CuddledryToddler Life - Making Bath Time Fun with CuddleSafari from CuddledryWe let Leo chill for a bit in his funky new bath robe (courtesy of Cuddledry). I think he really enjoys the robe and feels very comfortable in it. Once his after bath body temperature gets back to normal it is time to say goodbye to Mr. CuddleSafari and get him dressed.

How do you deal with the bath time routine?

Do you have any magic tricks up your sleeve to ensure a smooth experience?

Do your kids enjoy it or is bath time a constant battle?