Hi, I am Ode, so called Evil Cat. Frankly I have no idea why I got this nickname but who cares, right?
Today I want to tell you a story, my big plan for getting rid of a rival.
Yes, you are reading it right, I was planning to get rid of a rival cat, I was planning an assassination, I even hired (kind of) two assassins… or so I thought but let’s go back to the beginning!
So, I while back my neighbours brought home a grey ball of fluff, super cute British Blue, they called him Harry (how stupid is that by the way). The little fellow was growing up fast and before I knew it he was outside checking out my digs in the bushes, by the fence, up in the trees… wherever I went, I could smell the little… wonder.
It was definitely time to get rid of him.
I’ve tried sneaking into his house and scaring him, I’ve chased him any chance I could but this has had very little effect… well no effect at all, let’s be honest… Finally it was time for a different plan!
I know that my human pals have been known to react badly to uninvited creatures posing as guests in the house, especially when they are my guest… last time I brought a girl home for a lovely dinner they were less than impressed with the entire situation, reactions noted for future plan. So as they say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer and as times were hard so I really had no other option…. I became Harrys’ friend….
He was adorable, our friendship would be adorable (for adorable read Yuck! obviously)
Really there was no other option! Trust me…
You see in addition to me and Mr. Ginger who truly doesn’t give a **** about anything, especially adorable Harry, there are two potential cat killers in the house, aka Bunk and Lilly! Every time they spot Harry outside the house, they chase him like he just stole their bags, also noted for my plan. So the cunning plan was simple… make friends, get the adorable grey ball of fluff into the house and then just let the silly and amazingly gullible dogs do the rest and all whilst I was fast asleep with one eye open just enough to see my masterly plan come to fruition (insert maniacal laugh here)… clever hey?
Well, not really 🙁
My dog pals are just plain stupid!
I befriended Harry for days, I show him how to get into the house (super sneaky entrance in the humans basket-room which also just happens to be where we get our food… they are hardly ever upstairs during the day so it was kind of easy), I shared dinner with my nemesis (so he is full up and easier to catch), then I may have accidently poked a window latch a little so the attached window became shut…. Ooops.
After a short nap on my humans’ basket, Harry arose and went for a wonder… this was it, the moment of truth when victory was within my reach. I sat there unable to breath with anticipation. And I sat there still waiting for the symphony of barks, meows and screams but…. nothing, nothing happened!
Told you… silly, stupid dogs! They just let him wonder around the house, watched some telly with him and I even caught one of them licking him, I know gross right! So where was the teeth and claws when you need them, where was the “chasing him around the house” action scene I was expected to see? Oh no not today, today they are treating him like their best friend forever!
I hate dogs! My plan failed. Harry simply walked out the front door after humans decided that it is time for him to go home, another epic fail, salt in the wound, a finger in the eye. Where was the shoo shoo shooing, the rolled up newspaper or even the slipper when you need them. That’s right… oh no not today, today Harry is perfect. I wonder if it’s because he only has 4 paws…
And so in conclusion to my tale of tragedy I am still stuck with this super handsome, soft and shiny super cat next door! What’s my pet peeve I hear you ask… don’t get me started….grrrr.
This post is our contribution into #PETPEEVES campaign run by the RSPCA as I truly, truly hate when my cats bring a friend home and then lets them sleep on MY bed after stuffing their belly full of our cats’ food.
Yes, all pets have their quirks, weird likes or dislikes but at the end of the day, they are OUR pets, they are members of OUR family and they should be treated as such, no matter what their wacky personalities entail.
From this story Ode might sound like a mean killer but in reality he wouldn’t hurt a fly (well, actually this might not be the case, bad example maybe but you get the point…) Pets can be cunning, thoughtful and resourceful but it is our responsibilities to take care of them, so never forget that it is up to us to provide the right pet protection.